The festive year-end season is upon us, as in lots of love ❤️, goodies 🎁 and… stress 😖. Finishing work projects, getting ready for the holidays, and being together with our family can be stressful. In such a state, most of us are more likely to get into conflicts.The first step in effective conflict management is knowing what your options are. Based on Thomas-Kilmann’s work, you can adapt five conflict management styles. As a holiday gift to you, through a holiday-themed scenario, I show you all five, including their potential outcomes.
Starting situation:
You love Mariah Carey: All I want for Christmas is you, and you constantly want to listen to it. Your partner loves Wham!: Last Christmas, and keeps playing it on repeat. Both of you detest the other’s favorite.
What do you do?
1. Avoid
You don’t want conflict. You don’t mention it.
Outcome: You listen to Wham! on repeat.
| Partner: | 😊 |
| You: | 🙁 |
2. Accommodate
You start discussing the situation, the conflict perhaps escalates, then you let go of your position.
Outcome: You listen to Wham! on repeat.
| Partner: | 😊 |
| You: | 🙁 |
3. Compete
You start discussing the situation, the conflict perhaps escalates, you stand ground, until your partner lets go of their position.
Outcome: You listen to M. Carey on repeat.
| Partner: | 🙁 |
| You: | 😊 |
4. Compromise
You start discussing the situation, you both stand your ground, but both are willing to a give a little.
Outcome: M.Carey/Wham playlist on repeat
| Partner: | 😐 |
| You: | 😐 |
5. Collaborate
You start discussing the situation, you spend a lot of time identifying your underlying needs. It turns out that there is a third option that both of you prefer over your respective Christmas song.
Outcome: you listen to The Hu: Wolf Totem on repeat
| Partner: | 😊 |
| You: | 😊 |
Thomas-Kilmann conflict styles: avoiding, accommodating, competing, compromising, collaborating.
Which style is the best? No such thing. It depends on the situation.
In what situations would you use each?
Contact me if you want to improve in public speaking and/or conflict management.
