Last Friday, Joe Navarro – author of books such as What Every Body is Saying [WEBS] – gave an hour-long talk and a two-hour workshop at Selfmade Day in Budapest. I was excited to see one of the biggest names in nonverbal communication on stage; I took pages of notes, asked a question during the Q&A, and had a brief chat with him after his second session. Here are three body language insights from the three hours:
1️⃣ On mirroring body language.
When we are comfortable with someone, our nonverbal communication syncs: our breathing, posture, and tone of voice become similar. We can look for these signs to see whether a person is comfortable with us. We can also use these signs to subconsciously say: “I am comfortable with you.” [WEBS p. 211.]
2️⃣ On covering the mouth.
Evolutionary psychology gives a sound explanation to many behavior patterns, including those you can see on stage. Why do people cover their mouths? Our prehistoric ancestors did so to cover the scent of their breath when predators were around. It was a reaction to danger. As such, covering the mouth could be perceived as a sign of feeling threatened. This is just one of the many examples from the sessions.
3️⃣ On the signs of deception
You can often read articles about “sure signs” of deception and lies. Joe Navarro disagrees. There is no single behavior that is indicative of deception. He states that most people are no better than 50% accurate in detecting lies. He further claims that even people gifted at detecting deception are seldom right over 60% of the time (WEBS p. 207-208). Instead of trying to detect lies, he suggests you focus on two things: comfort and discomfort. Look for signs of discomfort, and keep in mind that there could be multiple reasons for the behavior.
It was a unique opportunity to see Joe Navarro in person and briefly chat with him. If I had to choose one from these body language insights, it would be the importance of the signs of comfort and discomfort.
See my video recommendation of What Every Body is Saying which I recorded before I knew I would meet the author:
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